I am ignoring my frustration. For what reason am I so flustered? Angry? I suppose it is because I was humiliated. Or rather I was in denial and someone popped my bubble. Then from his own mouth, it was verified. Not in a confession, for what are we? Little children on the playground. It sure seems that way. Who do you think I am? Your contemporary? Five years. That separation causes me to shudder. The gap that at first was not even there. And that is where the idea grew and flourished.
Had I allowed this to happen? In my own careless kindness, did I miss the signs? No, I ignored them. Brushing them off like a piece of lint from my shoulder, I flicked it away. But now all I feel is irritation. What I feel can be described as disappointment in myself. Although none of it was really in my hands. I saw it in his eyes when he first spoke to me. Up until that point we had been divided. Several weeks passed, the only recognition I bestowed upon him was in passing whispers amongst a friend and I.
I have no feelings for him but pity. My soft spot for the shunned idiot. How had he survived this long? Cheap, lazy and loud mouthed. It was no wonder that even the professor did not like him. In fact, he truly disliked him. A soft spot because even the classmates around him do not like him. But then again, neither do I. Had I given some permission unknowingly? None of it is up to me.
Yet still, he likes me?
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